Sausages are off the menu until further notice

I'm not too sure there's much to be added to this story:

A man has undergone ground breaking microsurgery after cutting off his penis in a crowded London restaurant.

The 35-year-old Polish national burst into the 200-seat Zizzi eaterie on The Strand and grabbed a large knife from the kitchen before jumping onto a table and dropping his trousers.

As panicking diners fled, the man sliced his penis off.

"This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about," sales rep Stuart McMahon told The Sun newspaper.

"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it.

"The staff were really upset and there was blood everywhere."

The man was subdued by police wielding tear gas, who packed the severed organ in ice then took it and the man to St Thomas's Hospital in south London.

A spokeswoman for the Royal College of Surgeons confirmed this was the first attempt in British history to reattach a severed penis, but there is no indication at this stage that it was a success.

Zizzi was set to re-open for business last night.

Apart from bringing a new meaning to the term 'Zizzi sausage' things have returned to normal. What do you charge someone with for lopping off their old feller in a crowded restaurant? Are there any charges to be laid at all? Exposing oneself in public, perhaps. The things people do...